Both if you find yourself in a situation where you realize that you are superb in something from the start.
And in situations that are really tough and you don’t know how you ended up in this situation:
You have been trained for this!
All experiences in your life are connected – and certain experiences will end up being training for things you don’t know about yet.
In a comfortable way you might be good at a new sport – let’s take one of my favorites: slackline.
To be good with slackline you need to have a good sense of balance.
When I first stood on a slackline I was hooked. This worked quite ok, not perfect, but good enough to want to go forward with this.
This was the first time I stood on a slackline – but I trained for this for over a decade – eg. through riding my bicycle to school every day for about 45 minutes (both ways together). This is an intense balance practice that I did over and over and over again. So when I first stepped on a slackline I had already years of experience in my muscles and bones. Different from what I needed later, to walk longer and more difficult lines – but still a great preparation.
Unfortunately, this swings in both directions.
When I found myself at the end of my relationship, noticing a couple of red flags I happily (or at least willingly) walked pass and asked myself: How could that happen?
I was trained for that.
I was taught to ignore my needs in school.
I was taught how love should look like from movies.
I was taught how to express my emotions by my parents.
I was taught how relationships work with former lovers.
The relationship did not happen without a context. It was possible that way (also the amazing and great parts) because of all the training I already had when I opted-in for this kind of bond.
The good thing is, that I am now aware of some training that does not support me in leading (a) relationship(s) that suits my being.
And I will need to unlearn or retrain this.
Like an amateur runner who never had a coach and then seeks some feedback on how to move her legs more proper to avoid the pain in the knees, she had lately.
The bad thing is: If I don’t retrain this – I will „magically“ happen in similar constellations again.
As I am trained for this, it will be easy for me, it will make sense for my emotional muscle memory.
Retraining is always a bit tough – especially because your muscle memory is doing the job. The unconscious aspects are guiding the situation – and it feels right to do it that way, there is more ease in doing it that way.
Feeling ease in the new way to move will show you that the newly trained way of doing things has taken over.
So if you happen to find yourself in a situation that leaves you puzzled how you ended up there – maybe it helps to figure you which training camps you unconsciously participated in – and then: consciously pick the training that brings you closer to whatever suits you better.